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　　标题：4StrategiesforHelpingYourChildCopewithAnxiety
　　source：psychcentral丨byMargaritaTartakovsky，M。S。
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　　Unlikeaggression，impulsivityorhyperactivity，anxietyoftengoesundertheradarinkids，saidElizabethPenela，Ph。D，apsychologistwhospecializesintreatinganxietyinkids。Itmightbebecauseanxietytypicallymanifestsassomaticsymptoms。Forinstance，kidsmighthaveheadaches，muscletensionandaqueasystomach，shesaid。
　　Theycanfeelanxiousaboutallsortsofthingsfromdoingwellonatesttowhattheirpeerswillthinkofthem。Theyalsomightworryabouteverydayissues，suchas：IsMomgoingtobelatetopickmeup？Doesourcarhaveenoughgas？WillIhaveenoughtimetocleanmyroomanddohomework？
　　Evenwhenkidsreceivereassurancefromothersthatthere’snothingtofretabout，manywhostrugglewithanxietystillkeepworrying，Penelasaid。
　　Kidsalsoavoidsituationsthattriggertheiranxietythoughtheywon’trecognizethatthisiswhythey’reavoidingthem。〔I〕nsteadtheymightsaythattheyareavoidingasituation，becausetheydon’tlikeitorsimply‘don’tfeellikeit。’Ifachildisstrugglingwithsocialanxiety，theymightsaytheydon’twanttoattendabirthdaypartybecauseit’sboringorbecausethey’retired，Penelasaid。
　　Seeingyourchildstrugglewithanxietycanbereallyhard。Fortunately，therearemanywaysyoucanhelp。Below，Penelasharedfourstrategies。
　　Helpthemlabeltheiranxietyandempathizewithhowtheyfeel。
　　Thefirststepistohelpyourchildidentifythefeelingofanxietyandincludedetailsaboutwhyyouthinkthisishardforthem，saidPenela，whopracticesatPediatricPsychologyAssociatesinCoralSprings，Fla。Forinstance，youmightsay：Sinceyoudon’tknowthatmanykidsatthisbirthdayparty，itseemslikeitmightfeelalittlescarytoyou。
　　Giveyourchildtimetorespond。Thenempathizebycommunicatingthatyouknowthisisdifficultforthem：Itcanfeelhardtostarttoplaywithotherkidswhenyoudon’tknowthemverywell。
　　Encouragethemtofacetheirfears。
　　Thenextstepistomakeasupportivecommentaboutyourchild’sabilitytofacetheirfears。Forinstance，youmighttellyourchildthatyourememberarecenttimetheydidwellinteractingwithkidstheybarelyknew。
　　Ifthey’renervousaboutgoingtoschool，accordingtoPenela，youmightsay：IrememberwhenyoufirstwenttoMs。X’sclass。Youfeltalittlenervous，butthenyouspentthewholedaythere，andyouhadagreattime！
　　Youalsomightgiveyourchildideasonhowtoapproachthesituation，shesaid。Forinstance，atthebirthdayparty，youpointoutapeerwhoisplayingwithatoythatyourchildenjoysandsuggest〔they〕talktothepeeraboutthistoy。
　　Exposethemtotheirfearsgradually。
　　Penelastressedtheimportanceofhelpingyourchildfacetheirfearsgradually。Ifyourchildisnervousaboutunfamiliarpeople，havethemengageinbriefinteractionswithacquaintances，shesaid。Thengraduallyworkuptowardlongerinteractionswithlessfamiliar〔people〕。Ifyourchildisscaredtogointotheocean，havethemwettheirtoesfirst，shesaid。
　　Italsohelpstounderstandwhatyourchildisspecificallyscaredabout。Forinstance，gentlyaskyourchild：Areyouscaredofdrowning？Areyouscaredofanimalsinthewater？Thenastheywettheirtoesapproachingthefearedsituationaskaboutthesespecifics：Doyoufeellikeyou’redrowning？Canyouseeanyanimals？
　　Inotherwords，allowthechildtolearnbasedontheirownexperiencethattheirworriesarenotbasedonfacts。
　　Reflectbackquestions。
　　Anxiouschildrentendtoaskalotofquestions，Penelasaid。Andoncetheygetthosequestionsanswered，theytypicallyonlyhavemore。Insteadoftryingtorespondtoalltheirquestions，tryturningthequestionbacktoyourchildinasensitiveway。
　　Penelasharedthisexample：Yourchildasks，AmIgoingtoknowanyofthekidsatthatbirthdayparty？Yourespondbysaying，I’mnotreallysure。What’shappenedothertimesthatwe’vegonetobirthdayparties？Didyouknowallofthekids，someofthekids？Howdiditgo？
　　Reflectingthequestionbacktoyourchild，andhelpingthemthinkthroughresponsesbasedontheirpreviousexperiencesoravailablefactsisthebestwaytohelpthemanswerthesetroublingquestions。
　　Tryusingthesestrategiesconsistently。Ifyourchild’sanxietystaysthesameorworsens，andinterfereswiththeirlife，seekprofessionalhelp，Penelasaid。Lookforapsychologistwhospecializesintreatinganxietywithcognitivebehavioraltreatment（CBT）。ResearchhasfoundthatCBTisaneffectivetreatmentforkids（andadults）。Theideaof‘facingyourfears’isattheheartofCBT。Andchildrencanlearntheskillstoconfronttheirfearseffectively，shesaid。
　　Anxietycanfeelbigandoverwhelmingandscarytokids（andusadults！）。Thankfully，anxietyishighlytrea。Byfacingtheirfearsgraduallyandwithsupport，yourchildcanfeelbetterandbecomemoreresilient。