source:huffingtonpostbyBriannaWiest 欲翻译的小伙伴,可评论领稿,并把已完成的译文贴在评论处或发在自己的心理圈内。谢谢 Everygenerationhasamonocultureofsorts,agoverningpatternorsystemofbeliefsthatpeopleunconsciouslyacceptastruth。ItseasytoidentifythemonocultureofGermanyinthe1930s,orAmericain1776。Itsclearwhatpeopleatthosetimes,inthoseplaces,acceptedtobegoodandtrueevenwheninreality,thatwascertainlynotalwaysthecase。 Theobjectivityrequiredtoseetheeffectsofpresentmonocultureisverydifficulttomaintain(onceyouhavesodeeplyacceptedanideaastruthitdoesntregisterasculturalorsubjectiveanymore)。。。butitscrucial。Somuchofourinnerturmoilissimplytheresultofconductingalifewedontinherentlyagreewith,becausewehaveacceptedaninnernarrativeofnormalandidealwithouteverrealizing。 Thefundamentalsofanygivenmonoculturetendtosurroundhowtoliveyourbestlife,howtoliveabetterlife,andwhatsmostworthlivingfor(nation,religion,self,etc。)andthereareanumberofwaysinwhichourcurrentsystemhasusshootingourselvesinthefeetaswetrytostepforward。Simply,thereareafewfundamentalsonhappiness,decisionmaking,instinctfollowingandpeacefindingthatwedontseemtounderstand。 Sohere,eightofthedailybehaviorsandunconscioushabitsthatarekeepingyoufromthelifeyoureallywant。 1。Youbelievethatcreatingyourbestpossiblelifeisamatterofdecidingwhatyouwantandthengoingafterit,butinreality,youarepsychologicallyincapableofbeingabletopredictwhatwillmakeyouhappy。 Yourbraincanonlyperceivewhatitsknown,sowhenyouchoosewhatyouwantforthefuture,youreactuallyjustrecreatingasolutionoranidealofthepast。Ironically,whensaidideasdontcometofruition(thingsneverlookthewaywethinktheywill)yousuffer,becauseyouthinkyouvefailed,whenreally,youremostlikelyexperiencingsomethingbetterthanyoucouldhavechosenforyourselfatthetime。(Moralofthestory:Livinginthemomentisntaloftyidealreservedforthezenandenlightened,itstheonlywaytolivealifethatisntinfiltratedwithillusions。。。itstheonlythingyourbraincanactuallycomprehend。) 2。Youextrapolatethepresentmomentbecauseyoubelievethatsuccessissomewhereyouarrive,soyouareconstantlytryingtotakeasnapshotofyourlifeandseeifyoucanbehappyyet。 Youaccidentallyconvinceyourselfthatanygivenmomentisyourlife,wheninreality,itisamomentinyourlife。Becausewerewiredtobelievethatsuccessissomewherewegettowhengoalsareaccomplishedandthingsarecompletedwereconstantlymeasuringourpresentmomentsbyhowfinishedtheyare,howgoodthestorysounds,howsomeoneelsewouldjudgethesummary。(Ifatanypointyoufindyourselfthinking:isthisallthereis?youreforgettingthateverythingistransitory。Thereisnowheretoarriveat。Theonlythingyourerushingtowardisdeath。Accomplishinggoalsisnotsuccess。Howmuchyoulearnandenjoyandexpandintheprocessofdoingthemis。) 3。Youassumethatwhenitcomestofollowingyourgutinstincts,happinessisgood,andfearandpainisbad。 Whenyouconsiderdoingsomethingthatyoutrulyloveandareinvestedin,youaregoingtofeelaninfluxoffearandpain,mostlybecauseitwillinvolvebeingvulnerable。Whenitcomestomakingdecisions,youhavetoknowthatbadfeelingsarenotdeterrents。Theyareindicatorsthatyouwanttodosomething,butitscaresyou(whicharethethingsmostworthdoing,ifyouaskme)。Notwantingtodosomethingwouldmakeyoufeelindifferentaboutit。Fearinterest。 4。Youneedlesslycreateproblemsandcrisesinyourlifebecauseyoureafraidofactuallylivingit。 Thepatternofunnecessarilycreatingcrisisinyourlifeisactuallyanavoidancetechnique。Itdistractsyoufromactuallyhavingtobevulnerableorheldaccounorwhateveritisyoureafraidof。Youreneverupsetforthereasonyouthinkyouare:atthecoreofyourdesiretocreateaproblemissimplythefearofbeingwhoyouare,andlivingthelifeyouwant。 5。Youthinkthattochangeyourbeliefs,youhavetoadoptanewlineofthinking,ratherthanseekexperiencesthatmakethatthinkingselfevident。 Abeliefiswhatyouknowtobetruebecauseexperiencehasmadeitevidenttoyou。Ifyouwanttochangeyourlife,changeyourbeliefs。Ifyouwanttochangeyourbeliefs,gooutandhaveexperiencesthatmakethemrealtoyou。Nottheoppositewayaround。 6。Youthinkproblemsareroadblockstoachievingwhatyouwant,wheninreality,theyarepathways。 Ifyouhaventhearditbefore,MarcusAureliussumsthisupwell:Theimpedimenttoactionadvancesaction。Whatstandsinthewaybecomestheway。RyanHolidayexplainsitevenmoregracefully:Theobstacleistheway。Simply,runningintoaproblemforcesyoutotakeactiontoresolveit。Thatactionleadsyoudownthepathyouhadultimatelyintendedtogoanyway,astheonlyproblemsinyourlifeultimatelycomedowntohowyouresistwhoyouareandhowyourlifenaturallyunfolds。 7。Youthinkyourpastdefinesyou,andworse,youthinkthatitisanunchangeablereality,whenreally,yourperceptionofitchangesasyoudo。 Becauseexperienceisalwaysmultidimensional,thereareavarietyofmemories,experiences,feelings,gistsyoucanchoosetorecall。。。andwhatyouchooseisindicativeofyourpresentstateofmind。Somanypeoplegetcaughtupinallowingthepasttodefinethem,orhauntthem,simplybecausetheyhavenotevolvedtotheplaceofseeinghowthepastdidnotpreventthemfromachievingthelifetheywant。。。itfacilitatedit(see:theobstacleistheway)。Thisdoesntmeantodisregardorglossoverpainfulortraumaticevents,butsimplytobeabletorecallthemwithacceptanceandtobeabletoplacetheminthestorylineofyourpersonalevolution。 8。Youtrytochangeotherpeople,situationsandthings(oryoujustcomplaingetupsetaboutthem)whenangerselfrecognition。 Mostnegativeemotionalreactionsareyouidentifyingadisassociatedaspectofyourself。Yourshadowselvesarethepartsofyouthat,atsomepoint,youwereconditionedtobelievewerenotokay,soyousuppressedthemandhavedoneeverythinginyourpowernottoacknowledgethem。Youdontactuallydislikethesepartsofyourself,though,youabsolutelylovethem。Sowhenyouseesomebodyelsedisplayingoneofthesetraits,itabsolutelyinfuriatesyou,notbecauseyouinherentlydislikeit,butbecauseyouhavetofightyourdesiretofullyintegrateitintoyourwholeconsciousness。Thethingsyouloveaboutothersarethethingsyouloveaboutyourself。Thethingsyouhateaboutothersarethethingsyoucannotseeinyourself。